Posts tagged “baby

Two Months

Two months – You are over 8 weeks old!  I didn’t believe you had gotten any bigger but then I glanced back at your One Month photos and wow, how you have filled out.  You are no longer a scrawny little thing but instead have started to be an expressive, sometimes serious, sometimes smiley face little gal.  I love your button nose and the tiny little peeks at your now emerging right dimple.  You have a mad obsession with your hands – to suck on, to flail, to ball up into fists, you name it…they are your best friends.  Your sleeping is somewhat more predictable and seems to be becoming less and less at a time (BOOO only 3 hours at a time overnight) and if we could figure out how to get you to sleepytown before 12:30am we would all be a little less crazy, you silly night owl!

It may sound cliche but it really is hard to remember times without you.  We love you little Evelyn and are so glad we get to keep you forever, well… at least until you go to college.  One month at time though, right?


Punkin Head

Walking home is not much fun on a Halloween night when day is done.

Spiders, ghosts and flying bats;

pumpkins, monsters and black cats.

Horrid things and scary witches,

make me run and split my britches.

Now I sit afraid to run,

for fear my pants will come undone.

Walking home is sure no fun on a Halloween night when day is done.

~author unknown~

Saying goodbye to g'ma makes halloween sad

(I promise she is a happy baby!!)


Baby Keeping

nursery inspiration

Sometimes when I sigh at the pile of unfolded laundry, when I yawn in the middle of the night, when I wipe the spit up off my shirt, when I just want to use two hands for a minute, when I have changed and nursed and rocked and bounced and I still can’t bring on the sleeping…I find myself whispering these words…

babies don’t keep

babies don’t keep

babies don’t keep

And I give my girl a little tighter squeeze.

Don’t grow up baby girl…

image credit Lay Baby Lay


Secret Baby Notes: weeks 12-15

his week I am sharing some posts that I saved as drafts about being pregnant.  I call them “Secret Baby Notes” because I wrote most of them before we shared our news with the world.  I wrote all of them quickly and never read them again until recently – boy, am I so glad I took the time to record those thoughts as I will cherish each of them forever.  I hope you enjoy them.

***Originally written on March 21, 2011***

Me, Pa-Pa, and Lisa – Palm Springs, March 2011

gone golfin

Palm Springs Palm Trees

Pa Pa relaxing

Ma Ma helping me discover my new love of Frozen Yogurt!

My mom and me in front of “the trees”

the obligatory Palm Springs flora

Dan and me for my last ski day at Copper this season

fun with our friends Jason and Cari

I knew it was my last day because I could barely zip my jacket – 13 weeks!

14 weeks – why do I always make those faces when I show my belly?

feeling good again

Oh holy moly, time sure is flying by.  I didn’t realize it had been so long since I checked in with our progress around these parts.

As mentioned in my last note, the upcoming weeks were full of fun and adventure.  Parent Teacher conference week was great because I was finally able to share the good news with my principal at school and then my colleagues.  What a relief to have the news out in the open since I was truly running out of clothing concealing options.  You are making your appearance and people can tell.  The news was well received and the three most common questions continue to be as follows:  1.  How are you feeling?  (said in a motherly tone).  2.  When are you due?  3.  And are you going to find out what you are having?  My answers are always as follows:  1.  Great, a little tired but doing well.  2.  September 3 (I know you are really due on Sept 11 but we all know that diabetes will bring you to us by Sept. 3rd).  3.  No, we want to have a surprise.  People are always so excited to hear we won’t be finding out and it makes me wonder how we are in the minority on this option of not finding out.  Funny stuff.

The big news at school also lead me to California and feeling so excited to tell more of my family in person.  I bought Ma-Ma a birthday card that said something along the lines of “I bet you never…” and on the inside I wrote I bet she had never been a great-grandma before and then signed it from Dan, Jennifer, and Baby Northcraft.  She was more than a little surprised and excited and we spent the rest of the day at the street fair swapping fun baby memories.  I loved spending time with my mom and Lisa and Pa-Pa, too.  We squeezed so much goodness into those 2 1/2 days.

Coming back to school was not as bad as I thought and I started getting more questions from students about my tummy.  My most favorite one came from an innocent little 3rd grade gal claiming she really needed to ask me something.  When I asked what she needed, thinking she was implying she needed the markers for her table, she straight up asked me if I was having a baby.  And when I responded with a yes, she prompted came back with a “um, yea…you can kinda tell.”  Point taken, little lady.  And that marks the beginning of the questions.  Even kindergartners are asking about you and the fifth graders are constantly checking in (they are so excited and it is really sweet) asking daily questions of, so how’s your baby?  Cuteness.

Second trimester has settled in around us and I can say for sure that things do seem easier.  I’m still tried and my back is a little sore but other annoying symptoms have disappeared.  I would think you might not be there but then I just look down and I know you are there.  I seem to have quite the sweet tooth and have settled back into my love of Starbucks.  I was quite happy with my green tea in the mornings and the thought of coffee was kinda gross but lately, the sweeter the drink the better…Decaf Iced Caramel Macchiottos?  Since when?  And just tonight I ate a whole bag of gummy bears.

Dan and I have started talking more and more about what your name should be.  We have funny conversations more so about what your name should not be and we laugh and laugh when we come up with names we both genuinely dislike.  Finding names we truly love is a lot more difficult.  We know we like more classic but not overused names.  We also like strong, short, bold names so long multinames are completely out.  I suppose we are making progress although we do still just call you Baby.

We have another appointment coming up this week – it should be the 16 week one but I’ll be in a little early since we will be out of town next week.  I don’t expect anything major from this one, just a simple check up like the last one.  Maybe another heart beat listen which is always fun.  The rest of this week looks pretty eventful as we will be heading home to Missouri for my Spring Break.  I am so extremely excited to see family but also a little anxious since Dan’s dad will be starting his chemo treatments.  The idea has been there but the news came quick that he would be starting treatments this week so we are very thankful we can take the time to be there in the midst of it all.

Everyone is getting excited to meet you little one.  **SO**excited!

***This is technically the last “Secret Baby Notes” but stayed tuned for some summaries of the following months!***

Catch up with the other “Secret Baby Notes”  background history, THE news, feeling the early effects, life with diabetes, the Baby Jay, weeks 5-9, and weeks 9-12


Secret Baby Notes: weeks 9-12

This week I am sharing some posts that I saved as drafts about being pregnant.  I call them “Secret Baby Notes” because I wrote most of them before we shared our news with the world.  I wrote all of them quickly and never read them again until recently – boy, am I so glad I took the time to record those thoughts as I will cherish each of them forever.  I hope you enjoy them.

***Originally written on February 26, 2011***

Nick, Dan, and Keri – Feb. 2011

Keri and Me

12 weeks

getting the bump

Hello Baby,

Yes, it seems we have settled into calling you Baby.  Just plain Baby.  It works because we use different tones to address you depending on the situation.  Week nine was met with a series of breakdowns for me.  None related to you but mostly stemming from the fact that I have diabetes and I want you to be oh-so-healthy.

Meanwhile, after all the exhaustion of the CGM sensor site drama, I came down with a cold.  It was a nasty one and I would have paid thousands of dollars for some sudafed and nose spray on numerous occasions if it weren’t for you and your first trimester tininess.  It was super hard though because I just couldn’t breath and our friends Nick and Keri from Missouri were in town and I just wanted to have a good time.  Instead, I spent one whole day sitting, laying, shivering on the couch and in bed.  It was down right miserable.  We did manage to have a lovely time with our friends though and aside from telling our parents and our two closest friends out here, they are still the only ones that know about you.   It was wonderful to share the news but I can’t imagine the heartache of losing you.  I wish my dear friend Keri didn’t have losing a tiny one as her story and I pray good things for them and their family someday soon.  I still secretly fear you might not be there sometimes.  I am constantly checking for reassurance and my symptoms keep on being there letting me know that you are growing and forming by the day.

Shortly after Nick and Keri left, Dan got sick too and I felt all sorts of bad knowing in advance what he was in for.  Turns out, he was even more worse off than me and together we did nothing but lay around and be sick for the entire next weekend.  It was even a long weekend and I was so ready to feel better by the next week.  The next week came and each night I still felt mostly terrible and I was cranky about being sick STILL.  And I was not always nice to Dan.  I felt so uncomfortable – couldn’t breath, headaches, belly aches, back aches.  I have not been pleasant.  I know the pain is worth it because you are growing my belly bigger.

I am looking forward to this next week.  We have parent teacher conferences which will mean a shorter week with longer days but a lot more down time for me.  We also have our next appointment with the midwife on Thursday morning.  Dan still HATES the idea of ultrasounds and thinks they are so unnecessary but I just don’t care and I’ve told him more than once that I can’t wait to see you again.  I bet you’ll even look like a baby now which is pretty hard to believe even though I know you are there.

As for other bits of information…most of my pants fit in the morning but not after lunch or dinner so I have resorted to the elastic hairband trick around my button and that seems to work just fine.  I am still struggling to find a breakfast groove because I seriously love my cereal but most days it makes my blood sugar go sky high for a little too long and I feel guilty for making life hard for you for a few hours.  Two fried eggs on toast are still my fool proof blood sugar preference if I have the time to make it.  I haven’t had any other food cravings since the sugar cookie ordeal but sometimes I just get so darn hungry, I would eat anything.  And I forgot…donuts have been sounding fabulous.  I might have to remedy that this weekend.  My best time of day continues to be first thing in the morning which is just wild to me because not one day in my life aside from now have I ever been able to say that before.  Nights are not really my friend.  I get tired.  More tired than I can stand.  I go to bed around 9.  I get A LOT of sleep.  But no matter how much, I still run out of me and my pep by about 7:30 and then I just get a little mean.  Sorry, Dan.

This time next week, I will be in Palm Springs for a quick two night stay to see Ma Ma and Pa Pa and my mom and Lisa.  I am thrilled it somehow worked out for me to be there this year and to get to spill the beans to all of them in person.  It is going to be fantastic and fun and I’m already sad that it will be over so soon.  But in the meantime, my head is buzzing with things to get ready and pack before I leave.

UPDATE:  Our dear friends Nick and Keri now have a beautiful adopted daughter named Solibel.  What a happy ending!!  She and Evelyn are only two weeks apart in age – and man, I can’t wait to meet that sweet girl and for our gals to hang out!

***Stay tuned for the last “Secret Baby Notes: weeks 12-15”***

Catch up with the other “Secret Baby Notes”  background history, THE news, feeling the early effects, life with diabetes, the Baby Jay, and weeks 5-9


Cry it Out

Evelyn so soft and sweetly sleeping at 16 days old

starting to stir

simmering

and scream!

Is it strange that I love pictures of Evelyn’s scrunchy, squishy, screaming face almost as much as I love her soft, serene sleeping face?  Almost.  It’s true, I love the peaceful ones so much but someday I feel like I will want to look back and remember the sad faces just as much.  Whenever she starts to get the cry face, Dan always tells her that it is not a cute face but, I dunno…I think it kinda is.

**adorable infant owl hat, a gift from Nicole,  from MarysMoxee on Etsy found HERE.

And while we’re on the topic of cry faces…here’s a cutesie video of a slightly fussy little gal showing off her supreme one-legged kicking skills.


Secret Baby Notes: weeks 5-9

This week I am sharing some posts that I saved as drafts about being pregnant.  I call them “Secret Baby Notes” because I wrote most of them before we shared our news with the world.  I wrote all of them quickly and never read them again until recently – boy, am I so glad I took the time to record those thoughts as I will cherish each of them forever.  I hope you enjoy them.

***Originally written on February 6, 2011***

happy girl after satisfying my cookie craving

satisfying another craving with fried egg sandwhiches

the real 8 weeks

starting to show!

Oh Baby…it seems that is what we have taken to calling you.  You are still our Baby Jay but more often than not we call you first name “Oh” and last name “Baby”.  Sometimes you get blamed for things that may or may not be your fault such as making my stomach hurt after eating too fast, making my clothes fit uncomfortably, giving me gas, making me tired, making my blood sugars ridiculously high (bleh, 297), making my blood sugars ridiculously low (hello, 28?), and a smattering of other non-life-altering silly things.  We don’t really blame you its just that over the last few weeks, things have started shifting.  I am stalking my blood sugars so that you will have the safest place to keep growing and growing.

We have been to the doctor twice.  Our first visit on Jan. 20th was with a nurse midwife who we really loved.  She took time to hear us and answer our many questions about having you with the least amount of medical interference.  She assured your dad that ultrasounds are indeed safe and absolutely necessary.  Thank goodness too because we got to see you for the first time, you little white blob.  We also saw what I kinda already expected that we were not in fact 8 weeks along but actually only 6 weeks and 3 days.  My body is a little slower on the cycle train so I had imagined you were a little later to the game than all the online info suggested but I gotta say losing nearly 2 weeks in my head was a little tough.  I want to meet you and it looks like the projected date of arrival is Sept. 11, 2011.  However, with the good old diabetes factors heavy on our side, we will most definitely meet you no later than Sept. 3 and I say if you have anything to do with it, we will maybe even have another August birthday on our hands.

During this visit we also got to see your heart fluttering on the screen.  It was quite great but I will have to say it didn’t even compare to our latest check-up with the perinatologist and actually HEARING your fast little heart a beatin.  I knew it would be great but my, oh, my that was so special because until then it’s just been black and white blobs on the screen but being able to listen to you made it so very true and real and great.  I loved it.  Everything is still checking out great on you.  We get to go back to the midwife in four weeks much to our surprise so I just hope and pray this stinking diabetes can stay in check so that the perinatology appointments can stay at a minimum.

In other news, my cravings have been mostly normal thus far with the exception of that wild goose chase that lasted four days in search of hard glazed sugar cookies.  I know, what?  I don’t even really like cookies that much but I got it in my head that I really needed and wanted a glazed heart shaped sugar cookie.  Luckily you dad and I found a bakery that did just the trick and 6 cookies later, I am finally over that idea.  I think.  I guess I almost forgot about that two week period I was all about fried egg sandwiches for breakfast.  I actually woke up earlier to fix said sandwich but rather than my everyday-of-my-life morning cereal.  But, don’t worry, I still ate my fried egg sandwich in the car on the way to work…I can’t break too many habits.

I also have been feeling quite well – no morning sickness to speak of with the exception of occasional evening bloating and stomach pains.  I still get tired and go to bed almost two hours earlier than we used to but when I wake up, I am ready to roll for the day.  I wake up a lot at night and have to go the bathroom which is strange because I would NEVER have done that in the past.  I also get woken by a beeping or buzzing insulin pump/continuous glucose monitor quite a bit.  It likes to let me know hourly if I am high or low and after a few user adjustments, I have put a stop to that.  I need my beauty sleep!

We also found and bought your nursery bedding.  I wasn’t even shopping for it but when I saw the aqua and green and the price on craigslist, I couldn’t pass up the deal.  I felt a little silly telling the sellers that yes, we are expecting even though they couldn’t tell by looking. I know most people hold off on this purchase but since we won’t know if you are a he or a she until you get here, it didn’t make much sense to wait.  I love blue-green/aqua/turquoise and I hope you will too.

***Stay tuned for the next “Secret Baby Notes: weeks 9-11”***

Catch up with the other “Secret Baby Notes:”  background historyTHE newsfeeling the early effectslife with diabetes, and the Baby Jay


Secret Baby Notes: the Baby Jay

This week I am sharing some posts that I saved as drafts about being pregnant.  I call them “Secret Baby Notes” because I wrote most of them before we shared our news with the world.  I wrote all of them quickly and never read them again until recently – boy, am I so glad I took the time to record those thoughts as I will cherish each of them forever.  I hope you enjoy them.

***Originally written on January 6, 2011***

the makings of my needle felted “Baby Jay”

Done!

THE Baby Jay

Just finished needle felting my silly little Baby Jay to send to my parents to announce the arrival of you, our little Baby Jayhawk.   (See the original felted Jayhawk, HERE.)  When we were home for Christmas, I joked with Dan that when we got pregnant, I should make my mom a Baby Jay to go along with the original.  Little did I know that nearly a week later, I would actually NEED to do that!  And, by this time next week you won’t just be our secret since we plan to tell our family all about you.  In the meantime, I enjoyed putting together this project as I sat and thought about all the ways our life might be different and better when you come along.  Dan thinks I’m nutty and I know it but it doesn’t matter.  I also know my mom will love and cherish this little memento and, in ways, Dan wouldn’t have me any other way.  Here’s to all of our quirks and hoping you can grow to appreciate them when you get older.

Click HERE for my parents video or HERE for Dan”s parents video of us spilling the beans.

***Stay tuned for the next “Secret Baby Notes: weeks 5-9”***

Catch up with the other “Secret Baby Notes”  background history, THE news, feeling the early effects, and life with diabetes


Secret Baby Notes: life with diabetes

This week I am sharing some posts that I saved as drafts about being pregnant.  I call them “Secret Baby Notes” because I wrote most of them before we shared our news with the world.  I wrote all of them quickly and never read them again until recently – boy, am I so glad I took the time to record those thoughts as I will cherish each of them forever.  I hope you enjoy them.

***Originally written on January 6, February 6 & 26, 2011***

January 22, 2011 – 7 weeks

the continuous glucose monitor + sensor

the sensor + needle

THE needle, oye!

the blessing and the curse!

spilling the beans with my best gal, Janel – we got to swap pregnancy woes :),  Jan. 2011

January 6, 2011:  Yesterday I hopped over to the labs and had my urine test to prove positive pregnancy and to start the ball rolling on a Continuous Glucose Monitor.  I also had blood work for my most recent A1C count (test to check my blood sugar averages over the last 3 months).  I’ve had this lab work done countless times since becoming a Type 1 diabetic in June, 2001.  Holy Cow, 2011 marks my 10 year anniversary with diabetes!

I could tell I was feeling hungry when I sat down in the chair and when the gal jammed my vein while changing viles I nearly passed out.  She made me lay down and she said I had to drink juice.  Good thing, too, since I could feel my color disappear.  Ten minutes later I was up and running again and when I be-bopped home after grocery shopping, I was excited to see a test result message waiting in my email inbox.  I clicked and saw the “positive” result and gave a little grin.  I know that you are there but now it is a little more official.

And when I got home this evening, I saw yet another test result waiting to be read.  I was a little nervous for this one and since there are several clicks to get to the actual A1C result, I got a little more hesitant before doing a double take.  I read the results – 6.7 and I couldn’t believe my eyes.  I immediately checked the date of the message again…yes, Jan. 4.  Then I went back to my labs from Nov. 2 and they said 7.7.  It stung a little after getting those results because I had worked so hard this summer to get them down to 6.9.  I had them under 7 which was my green light to start healthy baby planning.  But then the 7.7 kinda knocked me on my butt so imagine my surprise when I saw that after a mere two months of being conscious and striving for more balanced blood sugars we found our way to 6.7.  What a blessing and I feel a huge weight lifted off my shoulders knowing that we have brought you around under the best diabetes condition I have been in for many, many years…maybe even close to 10 years if I’m being honest.  Phew…

February 6, 2011:  All in all, life with diabetes can be hard.  There are some times when I forget that you are even there because I am so caught up tracking, adjusting, changing sites, refilling prescriptions, checking blood sugars, and on and on for diabetes.  I am working my butt off to stay on top of these numbers – emailing weekly reports back and forth with my doctors and adjusting to this continuous glucose monitor.  This CGM has been so great and so overwhelming sometimes.  I still cry like a big fat baby, no offense, when I have to insert a site because it just magnifies all the annoying and terrifying things I normally downplay living with diabetes.  But when I’m sitting there at the table with that quickserter in my hands and that extra giant needle staring back at me, I break down wishing there was some other way to live a “normal” life and pregnancy.  But the reality is that this is my normal and I’m doing my darndest to make it the most normal for you and this CGM can get us that much closer.  It’s worth it.

February 26, 2011:  Week nine was met with a series of breakdowns for me.  None related to you but mostly stemming from the fact that I have diabetes and I want you to be oh-so-healthy.  The continuous glucose monitor was such a blessing and a curse.  I sat down to insert it one night giving myself a pep talk to be brave and not cry this time so I took 12 deep breaths and after only a little hesitation, I did it.  But then I sort of freaked a little and Dan had to come and help me finish and then we accidentally pulled the site off.  And it bled.  And I lost it like I’ve never lost it before.  Mostly because I was so unhappy and bitter that I had to deal with having a sensor in the first place but also because it meant that all my being brave had just been canceled and I would have to go through it all again.  I was in a dark place.   I cried all night and refused to try again for two days.  I’m not proud.  After some reflection and a good conversation with my mama, I got up the courage to allow Dan to try to insert it for me.  I know that sounds like the easy thing to do, and it was, but giving up that kind of control with that kind of a needle is a big, big deal.  Trust me.  So he inserted my new site and it went great.  We have found a rhythm and Dan is my new site inserter hero.  I don’t know if I will ever be able to do it to myself again but how wonderful that I have someone like Dan.  I am so very thankful.

Update on Oct 8, 2011:  During pregnancy my A1C continued to improve with the help of my continuous glucose monitor (and Dan!) and tight contact with my doctors.  I was so happy to see that my latest result one week before baby girl came into the world was my best number ever at a 6.0!

***Stay tuned for the next “Secret Baby Notes: the Baby Jay”***

Catch up with the other “Secret Baby Notes:”  background history, THE news, and feeling the early effects.


Secret Baby Notes: feeling the early effects

This week I am sharing some posts that I saved as drafts about being pregnant.  I call them “Secret Baby Notes” because I wrote most of them before we shared our news with the world.  I wrote all of them quickly and never read them again until recently – boy, am I so glad I took the time to record those thoughts as I will cherish each of them forever.  I hope you enjoy them.

***Originally written on January 6, 2011***

January 8, 2011 – 6 weeks

Tomorrow you turn 6 weeks old and I can imagine that if we fast forward to your birthday plus six weeks, we will have learned so much together.  I imagine that much like going to college to become a teacher – taking the classes, listening to advice, and lesson planning I won’t know what to do until you are here.  And even then all my schooling and studying won’t really matter because we will just have to figure out how to do this thing once you arrive.   And then, well, then we will just have to figure this thing out together.   But at six weeks, I hope we will have found a groove of ebb and flow.  I will no doubt be sleep deprived and you will no doubt be getting cuter as the days progress.

And as for today, today was my first day back with students for the new year.  It was fun knowing I had a secret and hard at the same time because I HAD A SECRET and it was taking over my brain!  I felt good physically and mostly normal but as the day progressed, my back got sore, I got so very, very sleepy, and my belly felt full.  Really full.  It was the first time my favorite thrifted Abercrombie corduroys that fit me just right have ever fit me tight.  So tight that I really wanted to just leave them unbuttoned but I didn’t have a long enough shirt on to ensure safety while doing that.  Tonight my tummy has been rolling and I am getting glimpses into the future where my clothes don’t fit and I can’t get comfortable just sitting or laying down.  I’m not complaining but it is so strange to feel my belly sticking out there and realize that this is just a scratch on the surface for what is to come.  Bring on the baby belly!

Update on Oct. 7, 2011 – you are 5 weeks old and we are starting to find our flow of sleeping, eating, changing, eating, bouncing, and on and on.  Just like I thought though – we are figuring this out together with some good days and some hard days.  Sleep has been more abundant than I thought it would be and my, my are you cute!!

***Stay tuned for the next “Secret Baby Notes:  life with diabetes”***

Catch up with the other “Secret Baby Notes:”  background history, and THE news