we’ll all float on :: being let go
written on 3/22/12
News of my co-worker being let go gave my stomach a turn. On one hand, I don’t want this job to be my job next year but on the other hand, who are they to say if I get to be here or not? I want to call the shots!
As I welcomed in my kindergarten kiddos and taught them about Claude Monet’s Waterlilies. I talked about curved water lines, cool colors, and how to use the oil pastels but in my mind I thought about how my meeting will go at 3:15. As silly as it sounds, I picture myself trying to be like the girls who are let go on The Bachelor. Stay strong, don’t let them crack you. Nod, smile, don’t say anything I can’t take back, and don’t give them the satisfaction of getting the best of me. Be gracious and strong. Save the sob story for the car ride home. And even then, hold my head high. It isn’t personal. Well, it is but they don’t really know me so how can they really be the judge of me? It’s business. As a certified art teacher, I cost more than a para-educator does who will do my job for less. I know that. I also know that the kids won’t really get to know about Claude Monet next year.
Trusting that this closed door will be the best new beginning and that it is always darkest before the dawn.
written on 4/15/12
My meeting came and I held my head high. I was let go. Turns out our building leadership does not believe we can support a certified art teacher at our school. I was told my performance as a teacher is outstanding, I have passion, if there is anything he can do to help me find another job…etc… None of the information was news to me. I asked hard questions and got the weak answers I expected. I walked away knowing that this was meant to be and that the next two months left of the school year were going to be incredibly hard and very, very long. And here I am a month later, still feeling the weight of the school year with one month left. Still feeling the sting of being let go but also feeling a weight lifted knowing that I won’t have to make that hard choice of “should I go back next year?” The decision was made for me. There are a lot of uncertainties about the next few months but it doesn’t even seem to matter right now. I will be home. I will be with my baby girl! I will be doing what I love most. We will figure it out and we’ll all float on.