Secret Baby Notes: weeks 9-12
This week I am sharing some posts that I saved as drafts about being pregnant. I call them “Secret Baby Notes” because I wrote most of them before we shared our news with the world. I wrote all of them quickly and never read them again until recently – boy, am I so glad I took the time to record those thoughts as I will cherish each of them forever. I hope you enjoy them.
***Originally written on February 26, 2011***
getting the bump
Yes, it seems we have settled into calling you Baby. Just plain Baby. It works because we use different tones to address you depending on the situation. Week nine was met with a series of breakdowns for me. None related to you but mostly stemming from the fact that I have diabetes and I want you to be oh-so-healthy.
Meanwhile, after all the exhaustion of the CGM sensor site drama, I came down with a cold. It was a nasty one and I would have paid thousands of dollars for some sudafed and nose spray on numerous occasions if it weren’t for you and your first trimester tininess. It was super hard though because I just couldn’t breath and our friends Nick and Keri from Missouri were in town and I just wanted to have a good time. Instead, I spent one whole day sitting, laying, shivering on the couch and in bed. It was down right miserable. We did manage to have a lovely time with our friends though and aside from telling our parents and our two closest friends out here, they are still the only ones that know about you. It was wonderful to share the news but I can’t imagine the heartache of losing you. I wish my dear friend Keri didn’t have losing a tiny one as her story and I pray good things for them and their family someday soon. I still secretly fear you might not be there sometimes. I am constantly checking for reassurance and my symptoms keep on being there letting me know that you are growing and forming by the day.
Shortly after Nick and Keri left, Dan got sick too and I felt all sorts of bad knowing in advance what he was in for. Turns out, he was even more worse off than me and together we did nothing but lay around and be sick for the entire next weekend. It was even a long weekend and I was so ready to feel better by the next week. The next week came and each night I still felt mostly terrible and I was cranky about being sick STILL. And I was not always nice to Dan. I felt so uncomfortable – couldn’t breath, headaches, belly aches, back aches. I have not been pleasant. I know the pain is worth it because you are growing my belly bigger.
I am looking forward to this next week. We have parent teacher conferences which will mean a shorter week with longer days but a lot more down time for me. We also have our next appointment with the midwife on Thursday morning. Dan still HATES the idea of ultrasounds and thinks they are so unnecessary but I just don’t care and I’ve told him more than once that I can’t wait to see you again. I bet you’ll even look like a baby now which is pretty hard to believe even though I know you are there.
As for other bits of information…most of my pants fit in the morning but not after lunch or dinner so I have resorted to the elastic hairband trick around my button and that seems to work just fine. I am still struggling to find a breakfast groove because I seriously love my cereal but most days it makes my blood sugar go sky high for a little too long and I feel guilty for making life hard for you for a few hours. Two fried eggs on toast are still my fool proof blood sugar preference if I have the time to make it. I haven’t had any other food cravings since the sugar cookie ordeal but sometimes I just get so darn hungry, I would eat anything. And I forgot…donuts have been sounding fabulous. I might have to remedy that this weekend. My best time of day continues to be first thing in the morning which is just wild to me because not one day in my life aside from now have I ever been able to say that before. Nights are not really my friend. I get tired. More tired than I can stand. I go to bed around 9. I get A LOT of sleep. But no matter how much, I still run out of me and my pep by about 7:30 and then I just get a little mean. Sorry, Dan.
This time next week, I will be in Palm Springs for a quick two night stay to see Ma Ma and Pa Pa and my mom and Lisa. I am thrilled it somehow worked out for me to be there this year and to get to spill the beans to all of them in person. It is going to be fantastic and fun and I’m already sad that it will be over so soon. But in the meantime, my head is buzzing with things to get ready and pack before I leave.
UPDATE: Our dear friends Nick and Keri now have a beautiful adopted daughter named Solibel. What a happy ending!! She and Evelyn are only two weeks apart in age – and man, I can’t wait to meet that sweet girl and for our gals to hang out!
***Stay tuned for the last “Secret Baby Notes: weeks 12-15”***