saying goodbye, looking back, and feeling thankful

reflection

Hi Guys,

So sorry for my unpleasant rants in my last post.  Can we all just agree to scratch that and start all over right now?  Thanks.

Most of the things that had triggered my weeds were just little, petty things but some of them were and are real.  I really am going to miss my gal, J.  Our water park adventures were canceled and we spent the day at an indoor wildlife museum/IMAX movie instead.  I was ticked at first because I was still in my weeds but then I finally loosened up and got to jam out on the long car ride with another one of my former favorite students.  It was such a blessing to see sweet P turn the radio knob up and then snap his fingers happily.  How can you not just let everything else go when he does that?  YOU CAN’T!  So I let go.  I had an all around amazing day with J and I soaked up every minute of it knowing that would be the last time I got to hang out with her under these circumstances.  I am positive our paths will meet again but I know the NOW will never be again and that makes me sad.  When I told her good bye, she asked, “You cry, maybe just a little?” Which I find sweet and funny because we always comforted her when she was reluctant to try new things by saying that it was “just a little scary” or “just a little hard.”  She will continue to mature and make new life friends.   I will meet new students and learn to know them and then love them, too.  I know the impact of our relationship will always be there but the NOW will never be.  It’s okay, I just find it fitting that, just like the first time, it was raining when I said goodbye to her.  Today feels a lot like rain.

*Sigh*

August 3rd is fast approaching and that magic date is the one I’ve been working towards since I got the job in May.  Seems strange that August 3rd is also the date I picked up blogging again last year.  I have nearly made it an entire year blogging everyday.  I am glad I have taken this journey for myself and for you guys.  I tend to be a bit of an introvert and, while I know what I am thinking, I believe it has done me good to open up and share my experiences in ways I wouldn’t normally choose.  I also know that I approach my daily tasks in blogging ways.  I know that sounds kind of creepy but I try extra hard to remember and take in experiences that I might overlook.  This helps me actually enjoy life a little bit more.  And being able to have that record has made those experiences real again as I reread them a year later.  Funny how that works.

So, to you my bloggy blog readers, I am thankful.  You give me a place to share my photo hobby and my perspective.  And more than that, you give me a place to share the story of my life.  Thank you.  Thank you.

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One response

  1. Dan

    Good job, J! Things are going to go well this year.

    July 30, 2009 at 12:58 p

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